She arrived with her staff and they bustled about getting registered, getting ready. The staff, a lovely and seemingly gentle woman, pointed to a chair second row back third in saying, "This looks like a good seat." Maya, a woman with Down Syndrome, smiled and took her seat. The staff said goodbye and left. The workshop is for people with disabilities and staff or other care providers cannot attend.
Soon others began to arrive. We were meeting in Rhode Island for a workshop for people with disabilities on abuse prevetion and speaking up. Two women came in and all their actions were frenetic yet slowly paced. They conferred about everything. Finally settling on two seats off to the side they stopped, remembered who they were in the world, and looked at me to ask, "Is it OK for us to sit here?"
I'll never get used to this kind of permission asking. Never in a workshop for non-disabled participants have I been asked permission to sit.
But, I smiled and said, "You can sit where ever you want. It's your choice." They nodded a 'thanks' and then sat.
Maya stared at me, incredulous.
I didn't know why.
Yet.
Others came in and several times I had to say, "You can sit where ever you want, it's your choice." Sometimes I really had to assure them, "Really, it's ok choose wherever you want."
Finally Maya looked at me with challenge in her voice and said, "You can really sit where ever you want?"
"Yes."
She sat for about two minutes more and then with purpose and determination on her face she stood up. She spoke outloud, talking to herself, "You like to sit up front. You can see better. You don't want to be at the back," then (and it's a beautiful then) she moved one seat over and sat.
Plopped down. Looked at me and grinned.
She was in her seat. The one she picked. The one not pointed to by staff. The one she decided on.
A tiny act of rebellion. A tiny act of assertion. A tiny act of independence.
And because of that tiny act the entire state of Rhode Island is just a little bit freer.
I get paid for this.
5 comments:
I so anticipated you to say, "...and then she got up and sat at the speakers table with me"...but then this post wouldn't be called "Tiny" by "Giant". Thanks for the smile.
Thank you for this post, Dave.
You said, "I'll never get used to this kind of permission asking. Never in a workshop for non-disabled participants have I been asked permission to sit."
I have been asked that. Perhaps those people did have some kind of disability that I wasn't picking up. Or maybe not...
This post of yours reminded me of the similar subject I'd been meaning to blog about! ("Where-ever You Please") My job description is officially about teaching horticulture, yet in that there is a surprising amount of passing-along of acceptance and self-advocacy.
How many baby steps does it take to free Rhode Island? Well done.
Dear Dave- Ya know what really pisses me off? Establishments that have wheelchair accessible parking but have snow 2 feet deep in front of the ramp. This particular franchise( let's call it Tom Hurtin's) a coffee/donut franchise for your foreign readers- probably has more business from the disabled community than any other eating establishment in Canada- yet they can't clear the freakin' snow? Or make their foyers an inch bigger? Thank-you for allowing me this rant. Frances
Since I'm posting a few weeks late I suppose Frances probably won't see this, but yeah, the uncleared snow problem pisses me too. I don't use a wheelchair, but I have a friend who does, and I also tend to be extremely nervous about walking on slippery/icy/snowy surfaces myself. (I have a permanent foot problem that results in my inability to run or jump, and makes it harder to climb down stairs; I think it also affects my balance somewhat, and definitely is very easily prone to re-injury.) I'm near Washington DC; many businesses around here never bother to clear the sidewalks in front of their establishments even though they're required to (and supposedly can be fined for not doing it), and the city never, ever, ever, ever clears ANY of the sidewalks or curb cuts that falls under the city's responsibility. EVER. So after a bad snow fall, it's near impossible for pedestrians -- especially pedstrians who use wheelchairs, or who are simply very leery of re-injuring their foot for the five-thousandth time--to go ANYwhere.
No one takes responsibility here for clearing the snow near subway station elevators. That means people who need elevators (not escalators) to access the Metro system can't get on at all when it snows.
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